don't know what is so wrong with me and i cannot even eat a proper meal. got kinda emo just now and started talking rot again. i thought of the things i did, the things he did, the place i was once so familiar with, the smile i always expected, the person i wish i can hold on to forever. everything starts to fall in and i just feel like sobbing. but yup! there's no-one else to blame except for myself. i cause this ending. he hates me so much that he wouldn't even want to take a second look at me. i hate myself for doing all these.